Suz's love for COWS + Allan's work with LASERS = one unique blog name! Welcome to our blog filled with race recaps, pictures of our labs, and everything else we share with blogland!

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Say OK to Being Selfish & Selfless

As 2011 came to a close I made a decision that 2012 was going to be more about me and less about pleasing everyone else. I'm selfless to a fault at times and have been known to bend over backwards to make someone else happy or be there when they need me. Aside from the weekend we got married I've rarely asked anything of anyone and although I haven't been asking people for anything this year my schedule is about me (and Allan) and what's best for us and the dogs. We aren't dropping everything and hopping in the car to drive out of town every other weekend unless WE feel like doing so.

Out to dinner on our honeymoon
This year I am planning weekends around my races, three weddings we won't miss, our 10 year high school reunions, and our Mat Cats-Wrestling reunion weekend in Auburn. This means roughly half the weekends for the year are already spoken for. We love the beach and with my sister and her husband living so close to the beach now there will be several long weekends spent with them as the weather warms up. Football season means trips to Auburn or having friends at our house for the weekend with some races mixed in. By the time football season wraps up it's time for Thanksgiving and Christmas!

Rachel (my sister) is mommy to sweet Blackjack here
Thank goodness that my family is very supportive of my racing and with both my parents being retired now I think they would come to all of my races if my mom could handle the car rides and standing around waiting for me to reach the finish line. The idea of doing more for me doesn't mean I spend every day doing nothing but what I want to do. In fact while you are reading this I am volunteering at our new hospital and will be spending 6-10 AM every Tuesday morning there. I already volunteer at Huntsville Hospital in ICU waiting as I talked about in this post and I love it! I do NOT wake up before 7 most days so this is going to be a struggle but I'm hopeful I can adjust. I'll be in Surgery Waiting and interacting with doctors and patient families so I have to be alert and sound professional.

My favorite part of the open lobby at Madison is the water feature
I say all of this to encourage you to take time for yourself as well as take time to do for others. It's up to each one of us to balance being selfish and selfless and for me that has a big effect on my happiness. I prayed so long to escape my prior job that made me angry and exhausted (most of the time) and left little time for anything else in my life. There is not a day that goes by that I don't feel blessed at all the doors God has opened for both Allan and I and I feel like I owe it to myself to make the best use of my time I can.

Are you selfish, selfless, or a good mix of both?
Do you volunteer?

27 comments:

  1. love this post :) I can't wait to hear more about your volunteer experience. I used to do a bunch of volunteer work and loved it. I really, really need to find something new to do. I agree that you need to find a balance of being selfish and selfless!

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  2. Definitely too selfish over here! I could benefit by being more like you. I'm checking out your hospital volunteering right now. I would like to some volunteering myself (although not sure the ICU would be a good fit for me, I gag at the site of blood.....on TV). It's so hard to fit in on top of teaching, grad school, and training. I commend you for doing something wonderful like that :)

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  3. I'm pretty selfish because I only volunteer doing stuff I already want to do (like help with races). :)

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  4. I have a habit of always thinking of everyone else and feeling horribly guilty every time I make me a priority. Well I realized something in 2012, why would anyone make me a priority if I can't be bothered to do it for myself?
    So, there I am, I'm a priority. I started by hosting a NYE party and inviting only people I wanted to it! HA! No parents with crazy children that they can't control! Only people I like.
    I got some flack from the husband before the party, but, admitted after the party that inviting any more people would have made it chaotic and unenjoyable.

    I do volunteer with races, but, that's it!

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  5. Excellent plan! There is a way to be selfish and selfless at the same time. Keep up the good work.

    I really want to volunteer at a race, I don't know why I can't get my act together to get it done. I do lots of volunteering at my son's school.

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  6. I just got back into volunteering last weekend. I volunteer with a group mentoring program where there are 6-10 adults and 30-40 middle-high school aged at risk youth. We went bowling last week and it was a ton of fun!

    Good for you for taking some time to your self, you deserve it :)

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  7. I agree!! Good post. It takes such a good balance between the two. I love doing things that "feel selfish" like indulging in a two hour run or getting my teeth whitened.
    I also volunteer- Girls on the Run and various things through church.
    I love doing that sort of thing as well.

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  8. So true. Love that you volunteer. Right now, all I volunteer for is my kids schools and activities. Every year older they get, I think of volunteering more outside of their activities, just haven't figured out what yet.

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  9. Great post Suz! I think I'm pretty selfish. However, I'm learning to be more giving :)

    and I totally used to volunteer, during election time I still do but I'd like to do more like you!!!

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  10. YAY! It's completely ok to want to do things for YOU. That's definitely something I have been realizing as of late...I don't care if I would rather read a book in my room than hang out with my roommates. If they like me enough, they won't care! Go Suzanne!

    Also, I love volunteering! Unfortunately, the only thing I have time for these days is coaching special olympics swimmings...but it does bring me so much happiness every week! :)

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  11. Good for you! I am pretty selfish as far as I really need time to do the things I want/need/love to do, so I need to work more on pleasing others.

    I have volunteered in the past but am not doing it right now. I need to check out what options I have in my area right now.

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  12. I am selfish in some ways, but I am willing to adjust 'my' time to help out others. The one condition is that my time is not taken advantage of.

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  13. i think this is so wonderful! i am the same way far too often in that i sacrifice so much soemtimes to make sure that others are happy but then sometimes i find myself ending up being the one that is worn down or unhappy. i agree that it is so important to take the time for yourself that you need! excited to see what awesome things you enjoy for yourself this year!

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  14. I LOVE this post!!! Its so hard to find that balance and NOT to feel guilty when we say no. Several weeks ago, I told my husband I will now ask him before my immediately say yes.

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  15. This is a great post! Too often people forget about themselves and if we don't make the time we'll burn out! Though from reading this post I feel like the year is already over! Ha, why do they go by SO dang fast??

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  16. Amen sister! This balance is crucial and it gets even tougher when you're married and more family is involved. I've struggled with this as well but am in a much better place. Good for you!

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  17. I couldn't agree more! I have started being a little more selfish too lately and I think it's important!!! Good for you, enjoy!

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  18. I used to be pretty selfless. I put myself on the back burner for years while I was raising the girls. Since I started running, I try to balance it. I feel like I need to still put my girls before myself most of the time but I also need to do things for myself.

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  19. i tend to be a bit more selfless. doing too much for others and not enough for me. but i am working on it. and i am lucky enough to combine my running with my volunteering with TNT.

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  20. I agree it takes a lot of hard work. Especially when you get married! It gets thrown in your face and forces you to apply it to your life more! I assume having children pushes that even more! Love the post, good job on volunteering! We volunteer at church and love it!

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  21. I definitely do the same at times, I typically would put others before myself but I have learned that there are times that I come first and I make sure that I am happy too!

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  22. I need to focus on being more giving. Most definitely. I used to give and give and give and never do anything for myself. Then I found my love for running and now I'm so selfish with it. I need to learn how to balance it better. I love that you volunteer! I've only volunteered for races. But I guess that's better than not ever volunteering.

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  23. It's great you're taking time for you this year! When my twins were born a few years ago (and we had two olders), I realized that I just had to start saying "no" to people more often. It was really hard for me at first, but now, I'm pretty darn good at not volunteering myself when I don't have time. I volunteer at church and the kids' schools, but that's it right now. I've tried to volunteer for the running club, but it hasn't worked out yet.

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  24. Great post!

    I'm both, but over time I have started to focus more on what is best for me and Mike (an our furry/feathery family). We get guilt-tripped a lot by Mike's family but luckily my family is more understanding and makes time spent with us more meaningful (they are 10 hours away from us, while Mike's family is 3).

    I haven't volunteered in awhile, so I should get on that again!

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  25. what a great post!!

    i think it's beyond amazing that you volunteer regularly! i used to volunteer with a local animal rescue group but i've fallen out of it. which stinks because i do have more time now that i have a new job (thank God!).

    good for you for taking time for yourself AND taking time to give back. i think it's pretty amazing!

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  26. I love that you volunteer for a hospital. I am actually toying with the idea of volunteering for one too - as a baby holder. I think you are supposed to hold the babies because it helps heal them. :)

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  27. great job and totally true!! it takes a while to learn how to balance being there for others and doing what will make us most joyful

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