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Monday, November 7, 2011

If Tomorrow Never Comes...

Ten years ago today I was blow drying my hair and getting ready for school when my mom called to tell me that my neighbor had been killed in a bull riding accident. He was only one year older than me and a freshman at Auburn. We had joked about both going to vet school and coming back home to practice together.

I finished getting ready and drove to school to wait on her. I knew she wouldn't know yet and I didn't want her to hear it from anyone but me. They had dated the summer before and even though she and I weren't close I couldn't imagine how the news would hit her. Her car pulled up and when she saw me she knew. I didn't even have to tell her. We made it through 45 minutes of class before I was called to school office to check out, take her with me, and not worry about coming back until we were ready to return to school.

When we hopped into my truck all I could think about was seeing him two weeks ago when he was home for the weekend and I showed him my new truck. We talked about Auburn and then said goodbye not knowing that would be the last time I would see him.

10 years ago my life changed. See, that morning I had my Colorado State application in my hands to mail off. I was planning to move across the country for college and vet school and come home when I was finished. Those plans changed. I knew I would go to Auburn and major in Animal Science Pre-Vet and follow our dream. 5 years ago those plans changed. I knew my heart wasn't in vet school and I wanted to get my Master's in Animal Breeding & Genetics but the decision was impossible to make since I knew I would be letting him down. I still wonder from time to time if it's okay with him that I didn't go to vet school.

We will leave the farm in a few minutes and stop on the way back to north Alabama so I can talk to him and leave flowers at his grave-one rose for every year he's been gone. His older brother shared the lines from the Garth Brooks song If Tomorrow Never Comes at his funeral and I'll leave you all with those:

Sometimes late at night
I lie awake and watch her sleeping
She's lost in peaceful dreams
So I turn out the lights and lay there in the dark
And the thought crosses my mind
If I never wake up in the morning
Would she ever doubt the way I feel
About her in my heart

If tomorrow never comes
Will she know how much I loved her
Did I try in every way to show her every day
That she's my only one
And if my time on earth were through
And she must face this world without me
Is the love I gave her in the past
Gonna be enough to last
If tomorrow never comes

'Cause I've lost loved ones in my life
Who never knew how much I loved them
Now I live with the regret
That my true feelings for them never were revealed
So I made a promise to myself
To say each day how much she means to me
And avoid that circumstance
Where there's no second chance to tell her how I feel

If tomorrow never comes
Will she know how much I loved her
Did I try in every way to show her every day
That she's my only one
And if my time on earth were through
And she must face this world without me
Is the love I gave her in the past
Gonna be enough to last
If tomorrow never comes

So tell that someone that you love
Just what you're thinking of
If tomorrow never comes

10 comments:

  1. Wow... I am sure he would have been honored that you made the change in your plans in his memory. Special hugs for you today.

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  2. What a touching story. Big hugs.

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  3. This is so touching. We just never know how big or little our lives are going to change from day to day. I bet he would be happy you followed your heart and got a degree in something you wanted to do.

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  4. Wow. Very sweet story. And good food for thought, too.

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  5. Life is just so unfair at times. Thinking of you today and sending warm wishes. That Garth Brooks song has a powerful message, we love him over here.

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  6. Sending lots of hugs to you today.

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  7. Very touching..thank you for sharing such a touching part of your life.

    You may want to check out my blog today....something special for you...:)

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  8. How touching. It's so crazy that we never know what tomorrow will bring. I really think he would be happy that you followed your dreams.

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  9. wow. this post was so touching. thank you for sharing it with us. and such a powerful message. thank you for the reminder! thinking of you dear friend!

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  10. Hugs! You are a great friend and I am sure he is very proud of you! It takes courage to follow your dream :) This is such a good reminder to make the most of every single day.

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