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Tuesday, October 4, 2011

College Football Explained (& NFL too)

After multiple comments about football I've decided this topic is blog post worthy so for all of you college (or NFL) football novices out there this one is for you! Before I start this is the last day to enter our Breast Cancer Awareness GIVEAWAY for a pretty awesome cup, sticker, and calendar. Check out this post for all the deets and to get yourself in the drawing!

The best way I know to explain college football is to take you through a day in the life of a tailgating alumni such as myself and then explain a little about the game itself. I'm going to use the first game of this season as the day in question.

Allan striking his Heisman pose in front of the great Bo Jackson
6:00 AM-Wake up before the other 14 people in the house and run around the lake in the rain
7:00 AM-Put 2-7 lb pork roasts in crock pots with apple cider vinegar, salt, & pepper
8:00 AM-Wrangle people into vehicles and drive from the lake to Auburn
9:00 AM-10:45 AM-Help direct cars into the parking lot we have worked since I was a freshman at Auburn
10:45 AM-Walk to the stadium with only about 85,000 other people
10:55 AM-Cry during the flyover because I always cry during flyover
11:00 AM-Scream with 87,451 other Auburn fans as our Tigers kick off
1:00 PM-Leave at halftime to go to Momma Goldberg's because my stomach is preparing to eat itself

One of my favorite signs in Momma G's

***Side note: It took YEARS before I could bear to leave a game early. I have since learned that killing myself for the Utah State game is not wise and I should save that inner strength for say the Iron Bowl against Alabama
2:00 PM-Driving back to the lake and listening to the end of the game while screaming (it was a close one)
2:30 PM-Check on pork and turn to high until dinner at 7:00 PM
3:00 PM-We may or may not have jumped into the lake for awhile
7:00 PM-Feed 18 people dinner and watch the LSU vs. Oregon game (GO SEC!!!)
10:00 PM-Back in the lake for awhile
11:00 PM-1:30 AM-Chatting on the back deck enjoying the lake at night
2:00 AM-Bedtime

We quickly fell in love with the Tiki torches once nightfall hit
You may be thinking that you still haven't really learned anything besides 20 hour days are pretty typical for us on a Saturday when we make the trip to Auburn. No worries, I'm getting there. First thing you need to understand about football is offense and defense. NEVER ask if your team is on offense or defense (most guys will look at you like you're crazy and your football street credit is immediately gone). Look to see who has the ball first-if you do then you are on offense. If you don't then you're on defense.

Photo credit here
Second, watch an occasional episode of Sports Center (perhaps Friday before all the weekend games) and listen out for some big names, a few stats here and there, and anything else that jumps out at you that you might be able to recall later. I have an insanely good memory for random stats and numbers so if I watch Sports Center too much I find myself thinking about things like:

"Michael Dyer broke Bo Jackson's record for rushing yards for a freshman and he's on track to beat or put himself up there with the likes of Ronnie Brown and Carnell (Cadillac) Williams-running back legends at Auburn"

"Cam Newton broke Tom Brady's record for passing yards in a debut NFL start with over 400 passing yards."

"Auburn is the first team in the last decade to be ranked out of the Top 10 in pre-season rankings after winning a National Championship the previous year."

Photo credit here
Third thing you must know about football is that there is NO way to learn all the positions so stop trying. The critical ones are the quarterback (the one who throws the ball), the running back (normally gets the ball from the quarterback and runs down the field with it), the tight ends and wide receivers (the ones who catch the passes), offensive line (blocks for the quarterback and opens up a hole for the running back to get through), and the defense which stops the other team from running the ball, catching it, and sometimes (if you have a Nick Fairley) sacks the quarterback before he can get rid of the ball.

Nick Fairley sacking Oregon's Quarterback
I feel like everything else you can probably pick up after watching a game or two. In case you haven't already figured it out I love football. One of the best experiences I had while at Auburn was playing coed intramural football and I was the quarterback of our team. We didn't win but we had a great time and more than once the opposing team didn't cover our guys running the deep routes and found themselves watching my passes sail over their heads into the hands of my receiver who scored a touchdown. Ok, so that only happened once but I was still a decent quarterback!

In Fantasy Football news this week I lost (by a lot) and Allan tied his game. Our tie breaker rules will mean he ends up losing by 1 and I know that feeling all too well after last week. Here's to a better week next week for both of us!


  1. sounds like a perfect day to me!

  2. THIS IS AMAZING. I especially love the tailgate timeline!!! We SO need to hang out. I love football so much, (even watching SportsCentre- ESPN's Michelle Beadle is my FAV) and Fantasty Football too! You rock, gal :)

  3. Ha, I feel like this was made for me. I don't understand football at ALL! Sounds like such a fun time though--your day sounds busy but amazing!!

  4. I LOVE THIS POST!!!! The breakdown you did was phenom! I'll just add in me boarding a plane and traveling for 24 hours + our jam-packed 20 hour Auburn day--sleeping is seriously over rated! ;)

    Words simply cannot express how honored I feel for experiencing so much Auburn football and unique school spirit. That last semester there w/Matt (and everyone) was seriously the college experience I never had! SO AUsome:)

  5. I love your love, zeal, and dedication for college football and your team... you would have fit in really well with my family... who would die for BYU football. I on the other hand always showed up at half time and was ready to get out of there and home for pizza or our bbq before the 4th quarter was over... Bad, I know...

    I still love cheering and singing the songs and getting all into it while I'm there...

    I love that you cry during the fly over... I don't think I've ever been at a game early enough for anything like this, but I bet I'd cry too... I love sappy stuff like that. :)

  6. i love this post! i got killed in fantasy this week, the guy i played had aaron rodgers. crap.


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